Persuading Others: "I'm one of you..."

Source: https://psychology.iresearchnet.com/

Recently, the renowned social influence scholar Robert Cialdini sat down for a chat with Matt Abrahams for his Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast.  Cialdini recapped a few major findings from his research on persuasion.   As he shared a few experimental findings, Cialdini emphasized how we can be more persuasive if we convince others that we are "one of them."   Here's one example:

There was a study done on a university campus, researchers took a young woman who was about college age, dressed like a college student, asked her to set up a table for the United Way on a heavily trafficked area of campus and request people who were walking by to donate to the United Way. And because she looked similar to them she was getting some contributions. But if she added one sentence to her request she got four and a half times as many contributions. So what was the sentence, it was I’m a student here too, I’m one of you.

Cialdini went on to offer another example. In this case, the "persuader" did not meet others in person. Instead, people were persuaded simply becaused they were informed that others "like them" had acted in a certain way. Here's an excerpt from the podcast in which Cialdini described an experiment at a hotel:

We had the cooperation of the managers and we went into hotel rooms and randomly assigned various kinds of cards that were the same except for the recommendation, please do this for, right, and the environment was one, please do this for future generations was another. But the one that made the most difference was “the majority of guests who stay in this hotel have reused their towels,” and that produced a significant increase in the willingness of people to reuse their towels.

But even more interesting we got a more significant effect if we said not just the majority of visitors to our hotel have reused their towels, the majority of visitors who’ve stayed in this room have reused their towels. We got significantly more now because the principle we’re talking about is the principle of social proof, that if a lot of other people are doing something it validates the behavior, it makes it more correct. But if those people are comparable to us, staying in the same room now that’s not unity, that’s just similarity here, they’re comparable they’re like us. Well, that makes their behavior even more diagnostic of what we should do.

For more of Cialdini's terrific work on persuasion, I highly recommend his groundbreaking book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.  

Identify and Address Friction to Sell Your Creative Ideas

Loran Nordgren and David Schonthal have published a new book titled "The Human Element: Overcoming the Resistance that Awaits New Ideas."   In the book, they focus on how to persuade others to support and endorse your innovative ideas.   Nordgren and Schonthal argue that one must identify the sources of "friction" that might cause people to resist your proposal.  Many innovators work very hard to convince others of the highly attractive new features of their concept.  However, they don't spend enough time understanding the obstacles that might cause people to be hesitant to adopt, despite the attractive attributes being offered.   The authors explain that four sources of friction exist: 

Inertia: Does the idea represent a major change?
Effort: What is the cost of implementation?
Reactance: Does the audience feel pressured to change?
Emotion: What negative feelings might the idea produce?

To address the sources of friction, you may change attributes of your new concept, and/or you may change the messaging around the idea.  To do this effectively, you must demonstrate a great deal of empathy.  You must step into the other person's shoes and understand their pain points and frustrations.   You have to understand why they might not see the new idea the same way you do, despite its compelling features and characteristics.  

Communicating Complex Ideas Effectively

Source:  Stanford Business School

I recently listened to a highly informative podcast episode featuring Stanford University strategic communications lecturers Matt Abrahams and Lauren Weinstein.   In the episode, they describe several effective strategies for communcating complex ideas to an audience that may not have the background or expertise in that particular domain.   Abrahams and Weinstein describe how the "curse of knowledge" gets in the way for many experts.  They have so much knowledge that they forget how challenging it can be for novices to understand a particular topic.  They assume too much prior knowledge, and they underestimate how difficult it will be for novices to follow their line of reasoning.   Weinstein offers a terrific story of how she worked with a speaker to refine a TED talk.   The topic was challenging: treatments for diseases such as Alzheimer's and dementia.   Weinstein provides some rich detail on they structured the talk to communicate complicated ideas in a compelling, persuasive, easy-to-understand manner.   The lessons - starting with an engaging story, asking the audience questions to engage them, and using analogies to explain complex ideas - are applicable to many different communication situations.  Here's Weinstein explaining her coaching strategy: 

I worked with a TED speaker a while back. His talk was about a treatment that he developed for age-related diseases, such as Alzheimer's and dementia. When he first came to me, his first draft talked a lot about mitochondria and prokaryotic cells and cell membranes, which was really exciting for him and other scientists. But speaking to a lay audience, a TED audience, it was a bit too technical for them and less engaging.

So first, we had him start with a story. So he told the story of his father who had Alzheimer's disease and what it was like to see that decline. He established a personal connection. And he started sharing his content in a way that the audience could really connect to and relate with.  Then he asked the audience questions. So how many of you -- you know someone that's suffered from Alzheimer's or dementia, so again creating more connection with the audience to the topic.  And then finally, we came up with an analogy to explain something that was pretty complex. What we came up with was, in our bodies, we have trillions of cells, and each of these cells are like tiny little individual cities. And within these cities, we have factories, which are the mitochondria. And the job of these factories is to take the oxygen we breathe and the food we eat and convert it to energy.

The problem is that, often, our factories face oxidative damage from toxins and environmental stressors. And this sets the factory walls on fire. The factory walls are made of this delicate wood and easily set on fire. But that's okay because, normally, our -- we have antioxidants. We have a process for putting out the fire and rebuilding the factory walls.

But what happens as we age, for some of us, is we become less efficient at this process. And so essentially, the fires become much bigger than the firefighters in our body can handle. And so the fires become out of control. The factory goes down, and then the entire city goes down. And this is why we see the symptoms of Alzheimer's, for example.

What he developed is a supplement that's basically a fire-proof brick. So it comes in and repairs the factory walls with this fire-proof brick and makes it more resistant to damage so the factory can be saved as well as even, in some cases, rebuild itself.

It's really incredible. And my favorite part was, right after his talk, his daughter-in-law came up to me, and she said, "For four years, I had no idea what he did. This is amazing. Thank you so much."

How to Simplify Your Message & Persuade Others

Matt Eventoff has written a good concise article for Fast Company about how to put construct and deliver a simple and persuasive message.  He offers four suggestions:

1.   Know the audience.   How do they think?  What are their backgrounds?  What types of analysis do they find compelling?  What type of questions are they likely to ask?  What do they care about the most?  What are their goals and objectives?  You want to build a message to which they will be highly receptive.  Don't focus on the way you think; focus on how they think.   One key thing to consider - you may have people with very different backgrounds, interests, and perspectives in your audience. You won't be able to appeal equally to all parties.  You have to decide who your target audience is and tailor your message to them. 

2.   What is the ONE THING you want them to take away from your presentation?   You might have a lot of say, but it's not likely that they will remember it all.  What do you want them to recall moving forward?  Don't just consider what that one thing is... focus also on why that one thing really matters to them and to the organization.  Ask yourself:  Why should they care about this one thing?

3.  Give context and use examples.   You have to tell a story.  You can't just offer them a list of bullet points.  Paint a vivid picture for your audience.  Embed your points in a story about how and why you have a solution to an important problem facing the organization, or a plan to capitalize on a critical opportunity.  Think about the important elements of a story as you construct your message.  Who are the key characters?  What is the setting and the basic plot?  Where is the conflict or tension in your story?  How does the tension become resolved in the end?

4.  Watch your language.  Naturally, you want to avoid jargon and overly technical wording.  Moreover, you should be careful about nonverbal cues as well.  People watch your body language when you speak and present.  In particular, they watch your nonverbal cues as you answer their questions. Are you showing them that you are listening and trying to understand their concerns?  Are you demonstrating that you care about what others think? 

Why Persuading People with Facts Doesn't Work At Times

The British Psychological Society's Research Digest reports on a new study by Gregory Trevors and his colleagues.   They examined why we fail at times to persuade people with factual evidence.  Why don't fact-based arguments change minds?  In the past, researchers have posited that a "backfire" effect can occur when you confront someone with information that challenges their pre-existing views.  Why?  They have argued that people begin to recall all the information supporting their existing position.  An "arms race" occurs in their minds, as they retrieve all the data that rebut the new factual evidence being presented to them.  Trevors takes the research on this backfire effect one step further.   That work hypothesizes that, "When people read information that undermines their identity, this triggers feelings of anger and dismay that make it difficult for them to take the new facts on board."  

Trevors and his colleagues conducted an experiment with regard to genetically modified foods.  120 students participated in the study.  The scholars first tested "how important food purity was to the participants' sense of identity."  Then the researchers provided the students with scientific data contradicting their views in opposition to genetically modified foods. Here is what they found:

"After the researchers gave participants scientific information worded to directly challenge anti-GMO beliefs, those with higher scores in dietary purity rated themselves as experiencing more negative emotions while reading the text, and in a later follow-up task, they more often criticised GMOs. Crucially, at the end of the study these participants were actually more likely to be anti-GMO than a control group who were given scientific information that didn’t challenge beliefs: in other words, the attempt to change minds with factual information had backfired."

What's the lesson here?  You have to understand WHY people hold certain beliefs.  If those views are deeply tied to their identity, then fact-based arguments alone will not prevail.  In fact, they might backfire.  What can you do differently?  Here is the advice offered in the Research Digest article:

If persuasion is most at risk of backfire when identity is threatened, we may wish to frame arguments so they don’t strongly activate that identity concept, but rather others. And if, as this research suggests, the identity threat causes problems through agitating emotion, we may want to put off this disruption until later: Rather than telling someone (to paraphrase the example in the study) “you are wrong to think that GMOs are only made in labs because…”, arguments could firstly describe cross-pollination and other natural processes, giving time for this raw information to be assimilated, before drawing attention to how this is incompatible with the person’s raw belief – a stealth bomber rather than a whizz-bang, so to speak.

How to Deal With Skeptics

Matt Forrest Abrahams and Burt Alper have posted a Stanford Business piece titled "How to Handle Audience Skepticism."   They argue that reframing can be a powerful technique for addressing criticisms, objections, and tough questions.  Here's an excerpt focused on how paraphrasing can help when responding to a skeptic:

Paraphrase to address emotional skepticism. Paraphrasing is a listening tool where you reflect back what others say in your own words. Effective paraphrasing affords you several benefits (e.g., ensures that you heard someone correctly, values the other person’s contribution, allows you time to think, etc.). As a framing technique, paraphrasing allows you to acknowledge the emotion of someone’s question/objection, then pivot your response to the world of logic.

In my work, I've written about how reframing and redescribing can be powerful tools for handling contentious situations.  They can be methods for helping keep conflict constructive.  Here are two excerpts from my book, Why Great Leaders Don't Take Yes for an Answer:

On reframing: 

 When individuals seem to be locked into their positions, leaders need to find a way to alter the way that people perceive the situation. Too often, when debates get heated, individuals begin viewing the situation as a contest to be won or a test of wills. They believe that they are playing a zero-sum game, when, in fact, win-win solutions still may be achievable. Individuals stop thinking about new sources of information that might be examined or the possibility of new alternatives that might prove superior to any of the options currently being debated. They begin to worry more about losing face if the decision does not go their way rather being concerned about the impact on the organization. In these circumstances, leaders need to shift the focus back to the problem that needs to be solved. 

On redescribing:

Sometimes conflict becomes dysfunctional because one set of individuals tries hard to convey an important idea, but they cannot present the supporting evidence in a persuasive manner. They become increasingly frustrated, because they do not understand why others do not find the data compelling. It seems so obvious to them! Soon they begin to attribute the others' inability to comprehend their argument to a personal deficiency on the part of those they have failed to persuade. They think, "How could an intelligent person not understand this point?" Cognitive psychologist Howard Gardner, a pioneer in the study of the multiple dimensions of human intelligence, has argued that people can avoid these frustrating situations through a strategy that he calls redescription. As Gardner writes, "Essentially the same semantic meaning or content, then, can be conveyed by different forms: words, numbers, dramatic renditions, bulleted lists, Cartesian coordinates, or a bar graph. Multiple versions of the same point constitute an extremely powerful way in which to change minds."

First-Time Managers: Weak at Influence and Persuasion

The Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) has reported on an interesting finding from its research.  The organization reviewed 360-degree feedback for first-time managers, and it discovered that many of these individuals received poor evaluations for their ability to influence others.  However, people reported that the ability to exercise influence was an important leadership competence that would have made these managers much more effective.  

How do you influence others?   CCL points to the research of SUNY-Albany Professor Gary Yukl and four basic approaches to influencing others described in his work.  You can attempt to persuade others through logical arguments and analysis.  In contrast, you can appeal to their hearts, using an emotional and inspirational message.   Third, you can give others voice and seek their input as a means of building buy-in for a proposal.  Finally, you can offer resources and help to another party if they will help you enact a particular idea or initiative.  

What do the best leaders do?  They match the persuasion and influence tactic to the situation at hand.  They examine the circumstances as well as the people they are trying to influence.  Once you understand these factors, you can choose the right influence tactic - i.e. the one best-suited to achieve your goals in this situation.  

Persuading People to Donate Their Time

In this video clip, Wharton Business School Professor Americus Reed describes the research that he and fellow scholars have done regarding how we can effectively persuade others to give of their time. 

Asking for a Favor: The Power of the Post-It Note

Kevin Hogan has penned a post for HBR about research conducted by Randy Garner at Sam Houston State University.  Garner performed a series of experiments to examine the likelihood that individuals would respond to requests for assistance with a task. Garner asked faculty members to complete a survey for him - a request often made of others when you are conducting research.   He divided the respondents into three groups.   For the first group, he attached a sticky note to the survey, asking them to complete it.   For the second group, he put the same handwritten message on the cover letter, rather than on a separate sticky note.   For the third group, Garner simply provided a typed cover letter.   They received no handwritten message at all.   What happened?  76% of the respondents completed the survey in the first group, far more than the other two groups.   Why such powerful results from a handwritten message on a sticky note?  Hogan outlines the four main reasons:

1. It doesn’t match the environment—the sticky note takes up space and looks a bit cluttered. The brain, therefore, wants it gone.
2. It gets attention first because of #1. It’s difficult to ignore.
3. It’s personalized. (That’s the difference between Group 2 and Group 3 in the experiment.)
4. Ultimately, the sticky note represents one person communicating with another important person—almost as if it is a favor or special request, which makes the recipient feel important.

What's the lesson here?  In an era of predominantly electronic communication, the power of a personal note should not be underestimated.  Moreover, it's important to put yourselves in the shoes receiving your request.  Ask yourself: How will they feel when they receive this request for assistance?  By stepping in your shoes, you can craft a more effective and persuasive appeal for help. 

Using Stories to Persuade

Trying to Look Smart... and Failing!

The Wall Street Journal reports today on research regarding how people try to appear intelligent to others.  One major conclusion:  the techniques and approaches utilized by many people may actually backfire.  They use tactics that do not at all make them look intelligent.  In fact, it may actually harm their credibility and ability to influence others.  The article summarizes a key finding from research by Professor Nora Murphy of Loyola Marymount University:

People who tried to appear intelligent risked exposing what they didn’t know, the research shows. Observers were more accurate in estimating the IQs—including lower IQs—of those instructed to act intelligent than in estimating the IQs of controls who weren’t given any instructions. Apparently, participants’ attempts at impression management actually magnified other cues signaling low intelligence. 

What types of techniques can backfire?   For example, using big words and complex sentences may be counterproductive.  You don't impress people.  Instead, you make yourself the object of ridicule.  I'm sure it's particularly bad if you misuse particular words! 

Managing Up

David Bradford and Allan Cohen have written a new book, Influencing Up.  They are the authors of the previous best-selling leadership book, Influence Without Authority.   Stanford Business School has posted an interview with Bradford about the duo's latest work.  Bradford has a key insight about how we perceive ourselves relative to our bosses:

What does it take for a direct report to gain power in the employee-boss relationship?

First, not falling into the trap of accentuating the power gap. Research, much of it done here at Stanford, shows that when there is a significant gap between the most powerful and the least powerful, dysfunctional things happen for both parties. In the book, we say that "high power makes you deaf and low power gives you laryngitis." When you have high power, you tend to overestimate your abilities and can be closed to influence, which can be very dangerous in a fast-changing world. On the other hand, if you perceive you have very little power, you tend to shut down instead of offering alternate points of view, which is really what is needed. Now, sometimes power is objective: some people have a lot of money and others have very little; someone is CEO and another is a clerk. But we often exaggerate the power gaps, and when we do that we hurt ourselves and our bosses.

I think Bradford has made a good point.  Sometimes, employees do exaggerate the power gaps.   They do not realize the other sources of power that they may have. Clearly, the boss has the formal authority.  However, the subordinate may have deep expertise on a particular specialized subject.  The subordinate also may have cultivated a network of collaborators and allies in other parts of the organization.  That network may be a source of power.  The subordinate may have key facts on their side.  The question becomes:  How do you present that data most effectively?   In short, managing up does indeed require a thorough assessment of one's power in a particular situation.  Avoiding the knee-jerk conclusion that a massive power gap exists is good advice.   

Speaking Up Effectively

In my work, I have focused a great deal on how leaders often create conditions in which it becomes very difficult for individuals to express dissenting opinions.   What about the dissenter?  Can individuals become better at expressing dissent?  Can they enhance the odds that leaders will listen and consider their views?  Can they increase the odds that others in the group will not marginalize them?  I believe that dissenters can become better at speaking up.

Here are a few strategies:

1.  Know thy audience.  Who are you trying to influence or persuade?  How do they think?   Are they analytical by nature, or they do make decisions more intuitively? 

2.  Understand the history of the issue.   What events have taken place leading up to this situation?  Who has been involved?  Who might become defensive if I challenge the conventional wisdom here?

3.  Build a coalition.   Who could be my allies on this issue?  How can I cultivate their support before I express my dissenting view?

4.  Develop some options.  If I disagree with this plan of action, I should offer some alternatives.  What options might I propose?  How could I invite others to propose alternatives? 

5.  Ask questions.  Do not declare your opposition outright if that might be too threatening.  Ask questions. Seek to understand, to press for clarification, to surface and test key assumptions, to encourage people to think differently about the issue. 

The Art of Persuasion

Yesterday, I taught a group of executives a case study about a friendly fire accident in the military that took place in 1994 (based on Scott Snook's incredible book).  Interestingly, many people have a caricature in mind when they think about the military.   They think that commanders can simply give orders and expect everyone to follow them.   In their minds, executives think, "We have it much harder in the business world.  We can't just order folks around."   However, executives would be wrong to think in this manner.  Even military commanders have to persuade.

Stephen Ambrose wrote the following about General Dwight D. Eisenhower:

“Although none of his immediate superiors or subordinates seemed to realize it, Eisenhower could not afford to be a table-thumper. With Montgomery’s prestige, power, and personality, for example, had Eisenhower stormed into his headquarters, banged his fist on the table, and shouted out a series of demands, his actions could have been disastrous.” 

Interestingly, Eisenhower reflected in his writings about where he had learned about the necessity of persuasion. He described what he had learned from General Fox Conner, one of his mentors, under whom he first served in the early 1920s. Eisenhower wrote:

“He (Conner) laid great stress in his instruction to me on what he called the ‘art of persuasion.’ Since no foreigner could be given outright administrative command of troops of another nation, they would have to be coordinated very closely, and this needed persuasion. He would get out a book of applied psychology and we would talk it over.” (Source: Jean Edward Smith)

Persistent, Redundant Communication Pays Off

Professors Paul M. Leonardi and Elizabeth M. Gerber of Northwestern and Professor Tsedal B. Neeley of Harvard Business School have published an interesting new study in Organization Science. They have found that managers who send a series of redundant messages to team members using multiple media achieve better results. They can actually get projects accomplished more quickly than those who do not use persistent and redundant communication. The paper is titled "How Managers Use Multiple Media: Discrepant Events, Power, and Timing in Redundant Communication."

The authors also found that those managers with less power and formal authority tended to use this strategy of persistence and redundancy more often. Neeley explained to the HBS Working Knowledge blog: "Those without power were much more strategic, much more thoughtful about greasing the wheel to get buy-in and to reinforce the urgency of the previous communication. Managers without authority enroll others to make sense of an issue together and go for a solution."

This paper reminds me of something that the famous cognitive psychologist Howard Gardner once wrote many years ago. He advocated a strategy that he called redescription as an effective means of persuading others. In his book, Changing minds: The art and science of changing our own and other people’s minds, Gardner explained:

“Essentially the same semantic meaning or content, then, can be conveyed by different forms: words, numbers, dramatic renditions, bulleted lists, Cartesian coordinates, or a bar graph… Multiple versions of the same point constitute an extremely powerful way in which to change minds.”