We have been taught that active listening is key to effective communication and collaboration. What, though, constitutes the most effective form of active listening? Suppose that someone is making eye contact, affirming your statements with a few simple nods, and/or uttering "mm-hmm" after a key point or two. Are they listening closely? Or are they pretending to listen?
It turns out that we are not always very good at discerning whether another party is listening closely or feigning attentiveness. UCLA's Anderson Review recently spotlighted the research of Professor Hanne Collins and her colleagues, writing:
A burgeoning area of study, with papers co-authored by UCLA Anderson’s Hanne K. Collins, is establishing that speakers who feel heard often are not; that when the spoken-to feign attentiveness, it’s highly effective at misleading a speaker; and that a more active listening mode — volleying back a bit of what you’ve heard, explicitly stating a desire to engage, especially on topics of a sensitive nature – is the path to a more effective sort of conversing.
Collins suggests that there are two forms of active listening. In the simpler form, it involves non-verbal cues intended to suggest that you are paying close attention. In another form, you are engaging with the other party in a much more conversational form. This latter form of active listening is much more effective, and it signals clearly that you are in no way feigning attentiveness. Collins focuses on three types of interaction:
- Paraphrasing: “Let me make sure I have this right. What happened at school today was…”
- Conversational callbacks: “As you mentioned in your email last week, your team needs more support to complete this project on time.”
- Follow-up questions: “I hear that you’re asking me to do more around the house. What specifically would help?”
For more on how to have an effective dialogue that includes a healthy dose of active listening, I highly recommend Charles Duhigg's book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.
