Are You Leaning on AI Because You Are Afraid To Speak With Your Manager?

Are You Leaning on AI for Advice and Feedback Because You Are Afraid To Speak With Your Manager?  Perhaps many employees are doing so these days.  Fortune's Brit Morse writes:

Given an increasingly personal reliance on AI, HR professionals should also take note of where employees—and especially the youngest office workers—are getting career advice. Around 40% of employees overall say they rely more on ChatGPT than their manager to answer questions about work, with nearly half (49%) of Gen Zs agreeing. Pichura career coach for Resume.org.) notes that this generation is accustomed to receiving instant feedback, and when they’re not getting that from their manager, they may look to other sources instead.

What do we make of these findings?  I see two forces at play here. First, managers may not be providing the type of constructive, real-time advice and feedback that employees desire.  Second, many employees may be leaning on AI models because they are not comfortable speaking with their manager about their performance and opportunities for improvement.  I'm certainly not against using AI to enhance your productivity and performance on the job.  However, something very important is missing if we are avoiding conversations with our managers out of discomfort or conflict avoidance tendencies.  Managers need to make themselves more accessible and need to help their employees become more comfortable asking for help.  Employees need to tackle their discomfort head-on, and they must be willing to hear the hard truths needed to enhance performance. 

The Pressure To Appear Confident

Do you feel pressure at times to appear confident in your decisions and plans? Are you actually certain, or are you trying to put on a brave face for your team members and/or external constituents? Are you afraid of appearing as though you are not sure how to proceed, or how the future will unfold for your organization? Fast Company's Kate O'Neill addresses the topic of confidence in a great new article titled Why the best leaders embrace ‘strategic disappointment’ (and how you can, too)  

O'Neill argues that the more success you have, the more likely you will disappointment your followers at some point. After all, expectations grow quickly if you deliver good results.  Moreover, she argues that you are probably not pushing the boundaries of innovation if you never disappoint.  O'Neill argues that we have to work through lofty expectations and potential disappointment, rather than trying to avoid ever disappointing others.  Managing expectations (our own and others' expectations) means understanding feelings of confidence very clearly. She writes: 

Part of the challenge is that we fundamentally misunderstand confidence. As Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman explains, “Subjective confidence in a judgment is not a reasoned evaluation of the probability that this judgment is correct. Confidence is a feeling, which reflects the coherence of the information and the cognitive ease of processing it.”  In other words, our feeling of confidence often has more to do with how neatly our story fits together than with its actual likelihood of being correct. This creates a dangerous dynamic in leadership, where seemingly “confident” decisions may simply reflect coherent but flawed narratives, especially when those narratives align with what stakeholders want to hear... True confidence comes not from eliminating uncertainty, but from understanding precisely what we know and what we don’t, and responding appropriately.

In my view, this last sentence makes a crucial point. The best leaders acknowledge the gaps in their own knowledge and expertise.  As Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella says, they are "learn-it-all" leaders, not "know-it-all" leaders.  You can be confident without fooling yourself into thinking you have made all the correct assumptions and have made clear and accurate predictions of how the future will unfold.  Christa Quarles, CEO of Alludo, put it well when she says that effective and authentic leaders explain, "Here's what I know.  Here's what I don't know.  Now let's assemble the team and the people to go solve those problems in a holistic way."  

Hiring and Collaborating with Higher-Paid Employees

Source: Berkeley Economic Review

What happens when we know that others are paid more than us?  Does it affect our willingness to collaborate with them?  What about hiring decisions? Are we more or less likely to hire someone who may earn more than us?  Cornell Professors Kevin Kniffin and Angus Hildreth examined this question in a series of experimental studies.  They found an interesting, but not surprising, dichotomy when it came to collaboration vs. hiring.

First, the scholars discovered that, "People chose to collaborate with higher- rather than lower-paid peers unless explicitly told that their potential collaborators’ knowledge, skills, abilities, and experience were similar, suggesting that pay was viewed as a signal for competence."  On the other hand, they found that, "People were less likely to hire a candidate with a higher (versus lower) pay history for a subordinate position on their team."  

This study has some very interesting practical implications with regard to the pay transparency movement.   The collaboration finding seems quite positive, though one has to wonder whether it is appropriate for workers to always use pay as a sign of competence.  In some organizations, we know that compensation and position is not at all a sign of strong capabilities!   The hiring dynamic is perhaps more problematic.  We would hope that people would hire the best talent, and that they would not feel threatened by someone who had excellent capabilities warranting high compensation.  Naturally, though, people's emotions are affected by compensation differences.  If it means that we don't hire the best people, then that would be very worrisome. 

How to be a Supercommunicator

Have you met someone who is a highly effective communicator who engages you in enjoyable and helpful conversations with ease?  Why are they so effective at making conversation?  Recently, I read Charles Duhigg's terrific book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.  Charles earned a Pulitzer Prize as a writer for the New York Times.  Many years ago, he was my student in the MBA program at Harvard Business School.  In Duhigg's book, he explores the behaviors and methods of people who are particularly effective at connecting with others.  When he published the book, Duhigg sat for an interview with McKinsey & Company.  He commented on one very important trait of supercommunicators: 

Supercommunicators ask ten to 20 times more questions than the average person. Those questions can include something like, “That’s interesting. What did you think of that?” or “What did you say next?” They pose questions that invite us into the conversation.  Some of their questions are “deep questions.” These questions ask people about their values, beliefs, or experiences. An example of this could be as easy as saying, “You’re a lawyer. What made you decide to go to law school?” They ask questions that dig into learning who people are. They aren’t overly intimate questions but an opportunity to share who we are. People love the opportunities to share those things, which could feel amazing.

Duhigg notes that supercommunicators also are very good at detecting the type of conversation in which others wish to engage.  Is it an emotional, practical, or social conversation?  Many people mistakenly approach all conversations as practical ones, i.e., we are trying to solve a problem together.  Sometimes, though, others do not want help coming up with a plan of action or making a decision.  Instead, they want to share how they are feeling and would like someone to simply listen and empathize.  In short, you have to understand the purpose of the conversation.  In other words, what does the other party want from the dialogue?  

Finally, Duhigg stresses one technique that is very helpful in any conversation.  The term for this approach is "looping for understanding."  Sometimes, people describe it as the "playback" method. When we engage in looping or playback, we are listening actively, restating what we believe we have heard, and then we seek confirmation from the other party.  In short, we ask: Did I understand you correctly?  That question enables others to clarify their thoughts and helps us avoid misunderstandings.   

The Value of Companies with Many Occupational Options for Employees

Is it valuable for an employee to seek out employers that will offer the possibility of a variety of roles that they may fill over a period of years?  New research by Professors Inês Black and Ana Figueiredo suggests that role variety boosts wages, employee retention, and job satisfaction.  Duke Fuqua Insights recently summarized their research:

• workers starting their career at firms with more occupational variety switch occupations internally more often within the first 10 years;
• as a result, workers starting their career at firms that offer more job titles tend to have higher wages in 10 years;
• independently of firm size, the more occupations a firm offers, the more likely it is to retain their employees.

Professor Black goes on to comment on the impact that role variety can have on retention: "For every one more occupation that I offer to my workers, I'm 10% more likely to retain them 10 years from now," she explained.